


Teen Idle

by Harryissuchalittleshit



Series: Valdez Family [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, References to Depression, everything is okay in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 04:57:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12269355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harryissuchalittleshit/pseuds/Harryissuchalittleshit
Summary: “no one’s life seems great between midnight and seven am. go to sleep. things will be better tomorrow.”The wasted years, the wasted youthThe pretty lies, the ugly truthAnd the day has come where I have diedOnly to find, I've come alive- Teen Idle by Marina and the Diamonds





	Teen Idle

**_Eighteen Hours Before_ **

 

“I’m depressed,” I told them, and I meant it. Over the last few months, I could feel my energy drain and my willingness to spend time with others leave me. Sadness filled me at all moments of the day, and when Esperanza left, the feelings grew stronger. I couldn’t find joy anymore, not even in my projects or with my friends and family.

 

“Are you sure?” asked mama, she was sitting at the table, doing her usual morning crossword. She shared a look with papa, who was standing by the stove, letting the eggs burn.

 

“I know that I’m not okay,” I said, she stood up, but Diana and Nico had beaten her, the two of them wrapping their arms around me. But that didn’t stop her, or papa, from joining us.

 

The only person missing was Esperanza, the only person I could really talk to.

 

They all pulled away when the fire alarm went off, the eggs were black at that point.

 

**_Fourteen Hours Before_ **

 

“Are you sure that you don’t want to go see Will?” papa asked, we were the only two in the shop. It was supposed to be close, being Sunday and all, but papa had a project that he wanted me to help him with. I didn’t find pleasure being at the shop like I use to, it’s been a few months since I’ve wanted to go there.

 

“I-I can do this on my own,” I told him, pulling a wrench out of my tool belt. “I can beat this; it just may take a while.”

 

“I believe that you can do this, it’s just that Will may be able to help the process along. Son of Apollo and all,” he said, his voice was softer, gentler than normal. I brushed away the tears on his cheeks, papa shouldn’t be crying.

 

“I’ll be okay.”

 

“What about Bianca? Does she-“ I shook my head, she wouldn’t understand, no one ever understood these things, except maybe Esperanza. She had been my confidant in everything.

 

**_Ten Hours Before_ **

 

“Anza? Are you there? Can we talk?”

 

Clunk, clunk, clunk; the drachmas hit the floor and rolled around, under her bed, behind the dresser, on to the window sill.

 

**_Six Hours Before_ **

 

“Mama, you didn’t have to do this,” I told her, she shook her head and kissed my forehead.

 

“I didn’t, but I wanted to. Now eat before the food gets cold,” she said, and the light hit her face in just the way that I could see she had been crying.

 

I didn’t refuse any of the food put on my plate, and I ate everything, even the pickled vegetables.

 

“Thank you mama for dinner,” I told her, as Nico began cleaning up the table.

 

She smiled and winked at me. Maybe she thought that food, and smiles, and hugs would cure me, I didn’t have the heart to tell her it wouldn’t.

 

**_Zero Hours Before_ **

 

She had never felt this sort of pain before. It was worse than when Esperanza left. It was worse than when Nico burned her when she was six. It was worse than when Diana accidently shot her with an arrow.

 

No one had ever hurt her this badly before. No one, expect for herself, right now.

 

Two slashed wrists.

 

“Zoe? What are you doing?”

 

She really didn’t expect for anyone to be awake, let alone her brother.

 

And the shock was enough to make her scream, she was sure that she woke up the whole street.

 

**_Two Hours After_ **

 

“ _Oh my baby, oh my Zoe, why have you done this?_ ”

 

I didn’t think that it was possible for her to rock me like this, but after papa had pulled me out of the bathtub, mama hadn’t let go of me. I didn’t want her to, but at the same time I just wanted to be held, and hugged, and kissed like I was a little girl again.

 

“Mama please,” I whispered, why didn’t she understand.

 

I was so lost, so scared, and hurt, and empty.

 

“Papa, will Zoe be okay?” I heard Diana ask, she and Nico had been sent back to their rooms upstairs, but even mama and papa knew that it wasn’t worth it.

 

“She’ll be okay, she just needs a little help,” explained papa, “I went through my own bout of depression, it’s a fight that I know she’ll win.”

 

I buried my head into mama’s chest and cried harder than I knew was possible.

 

**_Four Hours After_ **

 

I laid in their bed between the two of them, mama’s arms wrapped just tightly enough around me to know that she wasn’t sleeping, and papa’s arms wrapped even tighter around the two of us.

 

_I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry._

 

**_Eight Months After_ **

 

It’s late, I’m tired, and we should both be asleep.

 

But Charles Jackson is a creature, _well,_ being, that I need to know more about.

 

He’s smart, and cute, and charming, and _funny_.

 

He doesn’t know that I’m sick, he doesn’t know that I’m crazy, he doesn’t know about any of my problems.

 

And he’s willing to talk about his own, his insecurities and fears, his family, the quest, how he feels about everything.

 

And that’s the reason why I kiss him, it doesn’t make sense to me, but he’s kissing me back so I don’t mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Please call the National Suicide Hotline if you have suicidal thoughts, the number is 1-800-273-8255, in the United States.
> 
> On a different note, Zoe is Leo and Calypso’s oldest daughter. She is self-diagnosed with chronic depression, but after her failed attempted, Leo and Calypso would have taken her to see Will Solace (who is a doctor, but would have recommended a good therapist) for an official diagnose. Though Zoe would still be determine to fight it on her own, she just doesn’t think that her friends and family supporting her counts as help, when it really does.
> 
> Charles Jackson, is the oldest of Percy and Annabeth’s children, I’m working on a Jackson Children story as I speak.


End file.
